My eyes are opened

It happened during the Biggest Loser tonight. I noticed how the young contestants got teary about seeing video messages from their parents. I thought how strange that they would miss their parents more than others from home. Then it hit me! That isn't strange...that is healthy! I always think that the inner city mindset doesn't get to me, but I was hit hard tonight. I know so many people (myself included)who consider it a chore to talk and visit with their families. It is always a prayer request at holiday times like this. I have forgotten that normal and healthy is having a continuing, loving relationship with parents as an adult child.

Here is where it really hurts. My daughter just turned 9. I am DREADING the teenage years. Always have. She feels very intensely and when the hormones kick in we will have constant war. But what I realized tonight is that I have never envisioned having a relationship with her as an adult. I am always thinking "make it through the next 9 years, just make it through till she turns 18". The attitudes of those around me have helped blind me to the fact that it is possible we may actually enjoy being around each other when she is older. Who knows, maybe even as a teenager I may enjoy spending time with her. I have known so many twisted teen/parent relationships. I have no idea what a healthy mother/daughter relationship looks like beyond this point (or more importantly right now is what it feels like). I have a feeling I am going to be doing a lot of stretching these next few years. God may you and my children have patience with me.